“You have to decide where your highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically – to say no to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger burning yes inside.”

Thank you Stephen Covey, ’cause I adore your book. But sometimes, I feel like I get lost in it.

How do I decide where my highest priorities are? Where does that burning yes come from?

I have pretty much decided that my biggest yes is being a doctor. Slowly I’m finding a yes to my spiritual/religious side. That one’s harder though.

Other than that, I want so much – I want to exercise my imagination and create…stuff. I want to learn how to do photography, to paint, write a book, knit, DIY. I want to be a good cook, and bake yummy things from scratch. I want to be helpful – I want a helpful blog, I want to be a friend that’s present, I want to understand people and be patient with them. There’s so much I want to do and be – I think I paralyze myself. Seeing other people doing wonderful things makes me long to do it too.

Then I feel like the things that are my priority – school, exercise, reading, seeing my friends – they are all worth the time that I spend on them. And it leaves little room for concentrating on other things. And I get stressed out because I feel like I’m not doing enough. But then I don’t see how to fit in everything else. And then everything else seems like a chore because I’m just trying to fit it in. So then I don’t want to do it because hobbies are supposed to be fun. But I really do want to do those things.

Apparently I just really like to be stressed out.

Also, I really hate being disenchanted. Sometimes something looks so fun, but in reality, there’s equal amounts of work and not-so-fun stuff involved (money being one of those), and then I lose interest. Like watching a movie you loved as a child, and realizing it’s not so awesome the second time around. Hm.

Which reminds me – Miyazaki films absolutely do not do this. I still love Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke. Also, Dianna Wynn Jones’ moving castle series – love. I think I’m just a child at heart.

Anyways, writing it all out has made me determined to go buy some yarn and knitting needles. Gotta start somewhere, and it’s not like I can’t be all of the above within my lifetime (assuming I live to be the average age!). Or maybe I can’t, but oh well, you know what they say about trying!


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