Happy November!

How is it already November?? I have officially been in my program for 3 full months… It really feels like only yesterday when I was so excited and nervous for my first day of school, wondering what the next four years would bring.

I have been burying my head in the sand trying to study. We just finished our 8 weeks of the musculoskeletal system – whew! I finally started to feel like I was learning about the body. Anatomy has been one of my favorite parts. Dissection is fascinating because of course, the body looks nothing like a color-coded textbook diagram. All those structures really exist…!!

I am really thankful for studying so much biochem in undergrad, because it definitely lightened the load of studying. I am utterly astounded at the people who have, say, economics degrees or other humanities, and are learning all this material for the first time! It is a lot. Stacks of pancakes and drinking from a firehose and all that.

Overall, I have been enjoying this time though! I’m really trying to savor this year, because I’m listening to all the M2s beginning to stress about Step 1. I have been working on actively calming myself down, because I do get extremely anxious about my never-ending to-do list, and I am certain that self-calming skill will come in handy next year!

I still don’t know what I want to do “when I grow up.” So now that I have my white coat (our ceremony was in early October!), it’s time for a lot of shadowing! I have been playing with the idea of neurology or psychiatry, but I will definitely be doing some shadowing to see if that’s really right for me.

One striking difference I have noticed from undergrad to professional school is in the care of students. I feel so welcomed in med school, like I am a part of a big family. Faculty are constantly trying to help and encourage and provide. Doctors and upperclassmen want to mentor us. Everyone is always happily feeding us. And my classmates (mostly) are so much like me, yet so wildly unique…it’s such an interesting and fun atmosphere. Comparatively, undergrad…felt lonely. Everyone was competing against each other, and I often felt like a undefined blob in a sea of pre-meds.

I am finally coming to terms with the amount of studying time I need to put in. I have also come to terms with not knowing everything. I am still working on the guilt of not studying enough, don’t take a break because you don’t know everything, etc etc. Calming those voices are key to happiness I think. Then relaxation time can truly become relaxing, and which in turn allows me to recharge for another push through a set of notes, etc.

Hopefully the worst two modules are behind me, so I can keep up with blogging more! I was reading a forum where older students were lamenting their lost writing skills. I don’t have much to begin with, so I want to really make sure I keep working on it! Even in speech, I have a hard time being succinct. I just get so lost on tangents 😀 I also have a lot of resistance to blogging. I feel like I’m not “good” at it, or that my writing isn’t very useful to others or myself. But creating is hard, and I do want to challenge myself and grow.

Well I’m off to relax more! It’s intersession time!!

If anyone has great writing tips, I would love to hear about them!

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